Tuesday, 22 May 2012

Why Worry?

As a coach and trainer one thing that I hear quite regularly from my clients are things they worry about.

From relationships to businesses even concerns about family members, and being successful or not, worry about how other people view them. Worry about pending life events, what could happen, what has happened and could happen again.

One thing’s for sure, regardless of who you are, where you're from, what you do for a living, or financial status worry hits everybody at some time so you're not alone. 

Have you stopped to think about how many minute's hours or days a week you spend worrying? If this is you then you've come to the right article so make yourself comfortable and read on.

Tip one - first of all recognise whether you are thinking something through or worrying.  If you’re worrying, note how long you're worrying for and any negative feelings or effects that this may be having on you, the people around you or your daily life. Try asking yourself what's the worst that could happen? and write this down. This alone brings your concerns out into the open and allows you the space to acknowledge it.

Worrying is often driven by FEAR and if you think of this as an acronym


What evidence do you actually have? It hasn't happened and there is nothing to prove that this will happen either so when you feel the fear, recognise it as just that.

Tip two - conversely whilst you're busy worrying, have you stopped to think about an ideal and realistic solution to your worry or an outcome with a much more positive ending than you've previously thought of?

Tip three - Take a blank piece of paper on one side write down everything that you're worried about.

On the other side draw a large circle with a smaller circle inside. This is your circle of influence in coaching we use this to help people decipher the things that are within their control and the things that are outside of their control.

So the next step is this, of the things that are purely 100% within your control, write them in the smaller central circle. For everything else it goes into the circle of concern, everything there is outside of your control, and gives you less to worry about. Based on Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

By Jenny Kovacs (find me on Facebook Here)

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

How to plan a presentation or talk

As someone who trains, coaches and gives talks on a regular basis, I'm often asked how to plan a presentation, speech or talk.  It's worth remembering that you present yourself verbally to the world in a selection of different ways.

You may be planning a classic presentation for business or pleasure, however you could be presenting information over the phone, face to face in a social setting or giving a speech or talk. Whether you're a complete novice, are steadily finding your feet in the presentation world, or are an accomplished expert, the secret to success is to look for ways to master this fine art.

There is a fundamental question you should ask before you start, so that you have a clear vision of what you'd like to say and fits well with your audience. So grab a piece of paper and a pen, think about your next presentation and let's plan for success right here right now!

The question is;

As a result of your presentation, what do you require the person or people listening to do, know or think, differently from what they do, know or think now?

So let's imagine that you're presenting for 10 minutes to a group of 10 people   

Only once you've got this information can you plan an effect and engaging talk or presentation

If you or someone you know lives near London, has babies or toddlers and want's to learn some tips or techniques on presentation in an authenic way please visit www.mum-me-time.co.uk

By Jenny Kovacs

How to know what to include in a talk

Last week I was asked by a fellow net worker, "What should I include in a forthcoming talk that that I've been asked to give?" They then proceeded to tell me what they planned to talk about and why.

I get asked this question a lot as my background is in training and personal development. The question is usually followed by, "Should I use PowerPoint?" or Do I have to prepare handouts"

Well first things first, (the other two questions can be addressed in a later blog, if you're interested in reading more then please do let me know here).

So, what do you include in your presentation? Before you even begin to go there, answer these questions first:

1. What is the purpose of my talk?  Clue:The purpose of my talk is to _________________

2. What do you want your audience to do differently, or think differently as a result of your talk?

3. How can I deliver the talk in a way that is easily digestible for them to hear?

So let's imagine that you answer the questions as follows:

1. The purpose of my talk is to inform the audience succinctly in what my business is about
2. I want them to understand what I can offer them and others like them, and recommend me to their contacts

3. This is where people sometimes get stuck so here's a tip...

Based on your first two answers, make it easy for the listener and keep it short and sweet! Often because you're the expert on your business the tendency is to ramble on about what you do, and people are not interested in what you do or how you do it.

They want to know how it will benefit them, so here are some examples:

Accountant - I help you to keep the tax man happy
Electrician - I save you money on your bills by providing cost effective lighting (as heard recently)
Jewellery maker - I capture your special occasions in silver & gold

I hope this gives you an idea, so off you go, what are you waiting for? You have a talk to prepare!!

For more inspiration click here to receive Info Bursts

By Jenny Kovacs

Sunday, 6 May 2012

How to answer "Do you have children?" following miscarriage or stillbirth

International Bereaved Mothers Day

In honor to Mothers, Fathers, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles & Friends on International Bereaved Mothers Day ♥ Your angels love you all x
In December our twins a girl and a boy were 'born sleeping' at only 17 1/2 weeks. We currently don't have any other children so when people ask the question "do you have children?" There's a dilemma that we and millions of others like us face. How do we answer a question like that? What do we say?
Here's the thing, we've grieved and in many cases other people in similar situations still grieve for our angel children and the lives that could have been. For those who were expecting multiples, some have a surviving brother or sister too and have many bitter-sweet moments where they celebrate a birthday, special occasion or festive time with one or without the other. Then there are the birthday celebrations where there are either some or no children to throw a party for.
But here's the interesting thing, most angel parents don't know how to answer this question because they're worried about upsetting the listeners or making them feel awkward. Rather than the listener feeling bad they find themselves saying "No we don't have children" or "we've got 1,2,3,4 etc while excluding their angel(s)", in some cultures it is thought that the mention of a deceased person after a defined amount of time stops them from resting in peace.

So here's what I say, "um, [pause] it's a long story", this usually indicates that the answer isn't a straight yes or no. Then
based on the other persons reaction I decide whether to share my story but at least by that initial response they know there's something more.

My bereavement midwife told me to think about how we'd answer this question, I'm so glad she did, and if I've made it sound easy it's taken 15 months to get to this! (
My shorter response or answer by the way is "sort of")

I hope this helps you with an answer, so here are my tips:
  1. Think about how you would like to answer this question from this perspective. If you knew that your honest response would inform the other person and they could not be upset by anything you say, how would you respond?
  2. Answer in a way that feels right for you It's OK to ask for opinions, advice and help with answering this question (or similar) and only you will know the response that best for you.
  3. If the question upsets or moves you Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, suppressing your emotion at this time will only surface emotions somewhere else.If you want someone to talk to remember that there are organisations such as SANDS who can help too find them at http://www.uk-sands.org/