Thursday, 4 April 2013

Are you a lighthouse?

Recently I've been working with lots of clients who are afraid or worried to speak. I refer to this as Speaking Out.

So what does Speaking Out mean I hear you ask?

Speaking out is a term I use for when a person presents themselves or their information to somebody or a group of people. So let's take this to an example and make it really easy to understand.

Imagine this, you're about to have a conversation with somebody, and you know that this conversation is about to be slightly difficult or a conversation that you really wish you weren't having.

What I saw and heard this week and in many of my clients is this; the place that they put their focus on will usually become the thing that they are most afraid of. (You may want to read that again!)

So, if you're having a meeting with somebody and in that meeting you know that there'll be some resistance. Focus on what you'll say, and decide how you want to be during that conversation. Think about how you'd like to feel after it too.

So you're probably wondering what this has to do with lighthouses, or lightbulbs if you're looking at the photo? 

For a moment imagine that you're a lighthouse with a light that swivels a full 360 degrees.

When you're worried or afraid, your light is shinning inwards, illuminating all of the shadows, fears & insecurities. This means that you'll feel pretty terrible about what you're trying to do. You'll hear that nagging inner voice telling you things like 'you're rubbish' and you'll generally find it hard to get on with the conversation.

However, when you're shining your light outside of yourself, you'll shine on where you're looking to go. You'll feel calm, great and in control. What's more you'll feel even more of the agreeable emotions that you'd planned for initially.


1) Over the next 7 days, notice when you start to shine inwardly and make a note of it in your diary, journal, on your phone or tablet.
2) It's important that you notice without forming negative conclusions about yourself, or what this may mean.
3) Ask yourself "How you can do, be or act differently next time" and note down your response (there are no right or wrong answers here).

So if you'll be speaking out in the coming days, weeks or months, why not set your desired outcome and rehearse (internally) what you'll say & how you'll say it.

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written by Jenny Kovacs of GiFTWiSH Ltd.