How do you gamble with your life?

On a recent trip to Las Vegas, surrounded by casinos & slot machines, I wondered where else you gamble in your life. 

Take a look at this short video…

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8O8roZ3mgLE

Until next time 

Jenny Kovacs GiFTWiSH Ltd

PS I've been nominated & short listed in the "Women Inspiring Women" awards. As you can imagine, I'm thrilled & humbled.

To support me please click the link below to vote 

http://tinyurl.com/qzfpdla

Are you a lighthouse?

Recently I've been working with lots of clients who are afraid or worried to speak. I refer to this as Speaking Out.

So what does Speaking Out mean I hear you ask?

Speaking out is a term I use for when a person presents themselves or their information to somebody or a group of people. So let's take this to an example and make it really easy to understand.

Imagine this, you're about to have a conversation with somebody, and you know that this conversation is about to be slightly difficult or a conversation that you really wish you weren't having.

What I saw and heard this week and in many of my clients is this; the place that they put their focus on will usually become the thing that they are most afraid of. (You may want to read that again!)

So, if you're having a meeting with somebody and in that meeting you know that there'll be some resistance. Focus on what you'll say, and decide how you want to be during that conversation. Think about how you'd like to feel after it too.

So you're probably wondering what this has to do with lighthouses, or lightbulbs if you're looking at the photo? 

For a moment imagine that you're a lighthouse with a light that swivels a full 360 degrees.

When you're worried or afraid, your light is shinning inwards, illuminating all of the shadows, fears & insecurities. This means that you'll feel pretty terrible about what you're trying to do. You'll hear that nagging inner voice telling you things like 'you're rubbish' and you'll generally find it hard to get on with the conversation.

However, when you're shining your light outside of yourself, you'll shine on where you're looking to go. You'll feel calm, great and in control. What's more you'll feel even more of the agreeable emotions that you'd planned for initially.

Action:

1) Over the next 7 days, notice when you start to shine inwardly and make a note of it in your diary, journal, on your phone or tablet.
2) It's important that you notice without forming negative conclusions about yourself, or what this may mean.
3) Ask yourself "How you can do, be or act differently next time" and note down your response (there are no right or wrong answers here).

So if you'll be speaking out in the coming days, weeks or months, why not set your desired outcome and rehearse (internally) what you'll say & how you'll say it.

To get your weekly Tuesday Talking Tips posted for speakers of all levels click or tap & like me on Facebook here and leave a post

written by Jenny Kovacs of GiFTWiSH Ltd.

Spaghetti Head

I have been busy beavering away at GiFTWiSH in order to provide you with even more webinars that educate, fun and engaging workshops and on line 'do it from your desk' programmes.

In order to do this I have been focused and working hard with a huge to do list.

I realised that in order to get things done, there were certain great habits that I’ve adopted. At the same time while working a business as usual, my clients have been voicing concern over how to get through their huge to do lists too, so I thought ‘why not share this with my readers? 

After all I love motivating, helping with mindset and serving you in order to help you have easier life lessons (and that’s only some of what GiFTWiSH do too!).  Through sharing with you, I learn lots too and when I pass that onto you and my clients we all share the fun!

So take a moment to sit back close your eyes and think of all of the things on your to do list, these can include absolutely anything from work, housework, family, shopping, garden, pets etc etc. How many of you opened your eyes almost immediately and went into a panic?
If that wasn’t you, that’s great and perhaps you’ve cracked it but if you’re about to hyperventilate then STOP I know what to do!

1) Grab a piece of paper minimum A4 (bigger if you have a lot to do)

2) Set a timer for 5 minutes and write down as many of the items that you have to do if there are still more things to do, take another 3 minutes to write down more

3) Take a big deep slow breath, remembering to breath out too.

Now a big part of your initial problem, was that up until the point where you’d written everything down onto a piece of paper you’ve had what we affectionately call “Spaghetti Head”. 

Imagine that everything on your to do list and each new deed, thought and thing to do is also a piece of spaghetti and that your head is literally filling up with more.

The exercise above allows you to sort through your spaghetti, get a clearer head and take everything out of your head and onto paper so that your next steps become clearer and more apparent. This exercise alone will make things more manageable straight away.

If you’d like to know what’s next please comment below, visit me on Facebook click here and comment or tweet us,

I love hearing your stories 

Until next time,

Jenny Kovacs of GiFTWiSH at www.gift-wish.co.uk

[Free Call] Create the Year & Life You Want - This Tuesday 4th Dec

Do you ever feel unclear about where you are in your life right now?
Do you ever feel like you could achieve what you wanted, if only you knew which of the many projects and priorities in your heart you should to focus on?

If you are ready to leave overwhelm, biting off more than you can chew and being disappointed then I have some great news...



Jenny Kovacs of GiFTWiSH Ltd  register here

Step 3 of 5 steps to success

By Jenny Kovacs of www.gift-wish.co.uk GiFTWiSH making people special

Step 2 of 5 steps to Success

By Jenny Kovacs of www.gift-wish.co.uk GiFTWiSH making people special

Step 1 of 5 Steps to Success from GiFTWiSH with Jenny Kovacs

By Jenny Kovacs of www.gift-wish.co.uk GiFTWiSH making people special

How to Save yourself from stress when you Speak Out.

I love to talk & can honestly say that I'm really great at it too. Ever since I can remember (especially at school), I would get told off for talking, as an adult this gift for talking, became something to be shared with others. So over the past few years, I've helped thousands of people to talk in many different settings, I call this Speaking Out. Today I'd like to pass on some tips to help you to Speak Out too.

Most of you will be familiar with saving money or budgeting money on a daily, weekly, monthly or even annual basis. I was reflecting on how people often talk about “being careful with money”, and I wondered whether they realised the similarity between Speaking Out that is, giving a talk or presentation whether that's over the phone, face to face, during a sale, or in a professional or personal setting?

So first of all:

1. When budgeting, the first thing to do is to work out how much money you have for essentials like mortgages, bills etc. you then establish how much money is left for general spending.

In Speaking Out, you begin by working out what is the essential information for your audience or listener.

“What exactly do they need to hear from you in the time allocated?”

Asking yourself this question enables you to allocate your words wisely, which in turn means that you are not wasting words in the time you have. Quite often I see people who give a presentation & run out of time before they can get their point, skills or sale across. That would be like wasting money wouldn't it?

Once you delivered your main message or piece of information you have spare cash. It's then & only then that you can spend your other words with your listener or audience in a general way.

2. Planning how you spend your money on a daily weekly or monthly basis, helps you to keep a tight rein on your budget.

Interestingly, even confident and regular speakers forget the golden rule of planning. They say things like, “I've done this hundreds of times before. I don't need to prepare”, “I'll be fine I know the individual or the audience really well” or the increasingly popular, “it's ok, I'll just wing it”

So anytime you make a phone call, a speech to give, a date, a 60 second pitch, a sales proposal, a talk to deliver, an introduction to your business, an interview to attend etc. Plan, the purpose of your meeting, what you're going to say and what you'd like as a result too. Do not leave it to chance, you'll end up with chance results too and that might not go in your favour.

Rein in your verbal budget so that you do not overspend or even worse, ramble, bore your audience and totally miss the point. That's such a waste of valuable time and money both yours and theirs.

3. So you're in the zone and talking away (or winging it) and you notice that you've overspent, what do you do? Scroll down for the answer

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Amazingly, many people recognise that they've overrun, are waffling, have disengaged their listener, have been too bullish or even over talked. But they still continue!!!!!!

So here's what to do, recognise where you're at and stop. It's a bit like going into a supermarket, spending money that you don't have and wondering why the checkout assistant is asking you to put items back!

By overspending with your listener, they're likely to avoid you like the plague next time you want to speak to them and if you do this to an audience they will most definitely "check out" once you've  lost them it's really hard work to get them back.

4. To save money at a restaurant you might order two starters. So “what on earth has that got to do with Speaking Out” you ask?

Well imagine this, you're at a restaurant and the waiter presents you with a giant plate of paella that’s big enough to feed 40 but it's only you & that's far too much for one person to eat. You're also unsure of many of the ingredients so suddenly you feel overwhelmed.  

Alternatively imagine this .... the waiter brings over lots of small appetisers on individual plates. They all have labels to explain what everything is, you realise quickly that you can pick and choose your food. Somehow your meal seems a lot easier to digest.

When Speaking Out, feed your audience with smaller, digestible pieces of information. It's so much easier to give them full meal when it's made up of bite sized chucks

5. When budgeting, it is possible to become slightly obsessive, and there are times when it's completely appropriate to cut yourself some slack.

So remember to go easy on yourself, self beating and obsessing over your performance can be just as debilitating. If you want to review how you did, as yourself the question, "So what will I do differently next time?"

Let us know by leaving a comment below and sharing this blog through your networks, after all for someone you know, it could be just what the blog for them.

For more good stuff click here

Written by Jenny Kovacs of www.gift-wish.co.uk GiFTWiSH making people special

Why Worry?

As a coach and trainer one thing that I hear quite regularly from my clients are things they worry about.

From relationships to businesses even concerns about family members, and being successful or not, worry about how other people view them. Worry about pending life events, what could happen, what has happened and could happen again.

One thing’s for sure, regardless of who you are, where you're from, what you do for a living, or financial status worry hits everybody at some time so you're not alone. 

Have you stopped to think about how many minute's hours or days a week you spend worrying? If this is you then you've come to the right article so make yourself comfortable and read on.

Tip one - first of all recognise whether you are thinking something through or worrying.  If you’re worrying, note how long you're worrying for and any negative feelings or effects that this may be having on you, the people around you or your daily life. Try asking yourself what's the worst that could happen? and write this down. This alone brings your concerns out into the open and allows you the space to acknowledge it.

Worrying is often driven by FEAR and if you think of this as an acronym

False

Evidence
Appearing
Real

What evidence do you actually have? It hasn't happened and there is nothing to prove that this will happen either so when you feel the fear, recognise it as just that.

Tip two - conversely whilst you're busy worrying, have you stopped to think about an ideal and realistic solution to your worry or an outcome with a much more positive ending than you've previously thought of?

Tip three - Take a blank piece of paper on one side write down everything that you're worried about.

On the other side draw a large circle with a smaller circle inside. This is your circle of influence in coaching we use this to help people decipher the things that are within their control and the things that are outside of their control.

So the next step is this, of the things that are purely 100% within your control, write them in the smaller central circle. For everything else it goes into the circle of concern, everything there is outside of your control, and gives you less to worry about. Based on Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

By Jenny Kovacs (find me on Facebook Here)

How to plan a presentation or talk

As someone who trains, coaches and gives talks on a regular basis, I'm often asked how to plan a presentation, speech or talk.  It's worth remembering that you present yourself verbally to the world in a selection of different ways.

You may be planning a classic presentation for business or pleasure, however you could be presenting information over the phone, face to face in a social setting or giving a speech or talk. Whether you're a complete novice, are steadily finding your feet in the presentation world, or are an accomplished expert, the secret to success is to look for ways to master this fine art.

There is a fundamental question you should ask before you start, so that you have a clear vision of what you'd like to say and fits well with your audience. So grab a piece of paper and a pen, think about your next presentation and let's plan for success right here right now!

The question is;

As a result of your presentation, what do you require the person or people listening to do, know or think, differently from what they do, know or think now?

So let's imagine that you're presenting for 10 minutes to a group of 10 people   

Only once you've got this information can you plan an effect and engaging talk or presentation

If you or someone you know lives near London, has babies or toddlers and want's to learn some tips or techniques on presentation in an authenic way please visit www.mum-me-time.co.uk

By Jenny Kovacs

How to know what to include in a talk

Last week I was asked by a fellow net worker, "What should I include in a forthcoming talk that that I've been asked to give?" They then proceeded to tell me what they planned to talk about and why.

I get asked this question a lot as my background is in training and personal development. The question is usually followed by, "Should I use PowerPoint?" or Do I have to prepare handouts"

Well first things first, (the other two questions can be addressed in a later blog, if you're interested in reading more then please do let me know here).

So, what do you include in your presentation? Before you even begin to go there, answer these questions first:

1. What is the purpose of my talk?  Clue:The purpose of my talk is to _________________

2. What do you want your audience to do differently, or think differently as a result of your talk?

3. How can I deliver the talk in a way that is easily digestible for them to hear?

So let's imagine that you answer the questions as follows:

1. The purpose of my talk is to inform the audience succinctly in what my business is about
2. I want them to understand what I can offer them and others like them, and recommend me to their contacts

3. This is where people sometimes get stuck so here's a tip...

Based on your first two answers, make it easy for the listener and keep it short and sweet! Often because you're the expert on your business the tendency is to ramble on about what you do, and people are not interested in what you do or how you do it.

They want to know how it will benefit them, so here are some examples:

Accountant - I help you to keep the tax man happy
Electrician - I save you money on your bills by providing cost effective lighting (as heard recently)
Jewellery maker - I capture your special occasions in silver & gold

I hope this gives you an idea, so off you go, what are you waiting for? You have a talk to prepare!!

For more inspiration click here to receive Info Bursts

By Jenny Kovacs

How to answer "Do you have children?" following miscarriage or stillbirth

International Bereaved Mothers Day

In honor to Mothers, Fathers, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles & Friends on International Bereaved Mothers Day ♥ Your angels love you all x

  

In December our twins a girl and a boy were 'born sleeping' at only 17 1/2 weeks. We currently don't have any other children so when people ask the question "do you have children?" There's a dilemma that we and millions of others like us face. How do we answer a question like that? What do we say?

Here's the thing, we've grieved and in many cases other people in similar situations still grieve for our angel children and the lives that could have been. For those who were expecting multiples, some have a surviving brother or sister too and have many bitter-sweet moments where they celebrate a birthday, special occasion or festive time with one or without the other. Then there are the birthday celebrations where there are either some or no children to throw a party for.

But here's the interesting thing, most angel parents don't know how to answer this question because they're worried about upsetting the listeners or making them feel awkward. Rather than the listener feeling bad they find themselves saying "No we don't have children" or "we've got 1,2,3,4 etc while excluding their angel(s)", in some cultures it is thought that the mention of a deceased person after a defined amount of time stops them from resting in peace.

So here's what I say, "um, [pause] it's a long story", this usually indicates that the answer isn't a straight yes or no. Then

based on the other persons reaction I decide whether to share my story but at least by that initial response they know there's something more.

My bereavement midwife told me to think about how we'd answer this question, I'm so glad she did, and if I've made it sound easy it's taken 15 months to get to this! (My shorter response or answer by the way is "sort of")

I hope this helps you with an answer, so here are my tips:

1. Think about how you would like to answer this question from this perspective. If you knew that your honest response would inform the other person and they could not be upset by anything you say, how would you respond?
2. Answer in a way that feels right for you It's OK to ask for opinions, advice and help with answering this question (or similar) and only you will know the response that best for you.
3. If the question upsets or moves you Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, suppressing your emotion at this time will only surface emotions somewhere else.If you want someone to talk to remember that there are organisations such as SANDS who can help too find them at http://www.uk-sands.org/ 

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